BIG GIRLS U R BEAUTIFUL.....

I am extremely self conscious.
Am i too ....
fat?curvy?white?tanned?short?ugly?boring?weird?
My friends and family think i have a morphed image of myself.When i look in the mirrow i see different.I however, think that is a lie.
In the media all you see are skinny girls.However,only more recently are there images of curvy girls.BUT.curvy without fat!
When i was younger i was skinny.Everyone would say."Oh you have a beautiful body.Lovely long legs."I was JINXED!Now i am voluptuous,short legs,n round ASS! How sad...
When did we start gettin like this? Or were we always like this? A society that is so concerned with their appearance.If only i could say i was any better.
I wish i could be happy with just my inner self.But its not enough.Looks are important. Ur appearance matters.
They say the most beautiful of people are the ones that have their inner beauty shinning out for the world to see.Do i show my inner beauty?Or do i stink of insecurity.
Marylin Monroe was considered as one of the most beautiful woman alive. She really is. Just stunning.A woman. A curvy woman. Im not saying women without curves are not women. All im saying is women with curvys are now considered fat and ugly.
Will the media start to generate beautiful big girls? Keep them in the public.So people like me are proud with what they have.

Listen to Mikas song - Big girls you are beautiful :)
Makes every women proud.

Blue.....

Isn't it beautiful??
It reminds me of a dream...
Life is similar to a dream. Objects just floating around.
Passing through our life. Aimlessly.
Making our world.

BUT

If u look close enough... Do you know what it really is.
Our Sydney Harbour.
Kinda ruins it for me.
I like art. Art that has a hidden meaning.
Art that is abstract.

This is a painting by Brett Whitely called the balcony.
I love his art work. When i went to his art house I fell in love.
Full of passion. Full of abstract.

What do you think of this artwork.... Its my favourite....

What do you see?

Heaven to my ears..............

Another beautiful songg by myyy husband Ben Harper... HAHA
I love these lyrics..........
<3 <3 <3



Ben Harper - The Woman In You

Couldve sworn I heard you say amen this morning, showing some kind of sign that you believe
Did it fall from your tongue without warning or just another trick to fall from your sleeve
Did I hear you say that you believe in angels? I guess I bring the devil out in you
But we can both remove our halos cause even an angel needs love too

The woman in you is the worry, the worry in me
The woman in you is the worry, the worry in me

Some things never change; some things never stay the same
But youre so innocent, Ill take all the blame
How I hate to remember for that means the day is past
Sometimes I wonder if I know her or if I really need to ask

The woman in you is the worry, the worry in me
The woman in you is the worry, the worry in me
The woman in you is the worry, the worry in me
Woman...

Half-man walks with no shadow of life he utters his distaste
No apology is expected
Love carved sorry in his face
Love carved sorry in his face

The woman in you is the worry, the worry in me
The woman in you is the worry, the worry in me
The woman in you, in you, is the worry in me
Woman...

MY WORLD.....

As I have matured I have realised just how important my family is......
They are my WORLD.
I can not imagine my world without them...
Yes I know everyone says this... but seriously....... I HAVE THE BEST FAMILY IN THE UNIVERSE ;) hahaha no seriously i do.... :)
We are crazy. loud. weird. boring. entertaining. emotional. FREAKS. loving. angry. happy. EVERYTHING!
My mum is amazing... These days she is my best friend. I can always rely on her... ALWAYS. however, she can sometimesss get veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy annoying! but i guess i get that habit from her!.... perfectionist. picky.
My dad is his own person. BUT a beautiful person... I havnt treated him too well in the past.. don't know why? but he knows i love him :) kindest man ever.
My sister is my twin. HAHAHA no seriously. she looks like me (so people say). she talks like me. she acts like me. she thinks like me. too bad she got her stubborn strate from me! lol
My brother is ANNOYING! he sings 24/7. he talks 24/7. he pokes me 24/7. but he is beautiful. he is caring. sensitive. a great cook for a 13 year old! he is very mature.
When no1 in the world loves me and I feel alone.... At the end of the day I know my family will always love and be there for me. Even if i kill a guy.... they will stick by my side ... :S i hope! haahaha
I love my family... They are my WORLD!




This is Maddy..... Say hiiiiiiii maddddyyyy! HAHA... goddd im gay
I LOVE LOVE LOVE her to death!
She is my bestest friend in the wholeeeee wideeee world!!!!!!
She is my councillor. She is my soul mate. She is my best friend!
She understands my freaky side! haha I understand her freaky side! haha
When i'm around her all i do is laugh! We can sit for hoursssss doing nothing but its ok.
And the best thing about it..... We have the exact same minds ! lol (maddy will get it)
To me, she is the most beautiful person alive. Inside and out. And the only person in this whole wide world I can trust, outside my family.
She iss myyy WORLD!



Most of my life i haven't been single... Been through dickhead, after dickhead, after dickhead..... Thank the lord i have founddd a guyy who can puttt away my feelings that ALL GUYS ARE DICKS!
I loveee loveee loveee him to death :) but not onlyyy as a bf... mainly assss a besttesttt bud :)
He is caring. Loving. Dorky. Cute. and a bittttt LOCO! ;)
I am soooo thankful to have him in my life... even if at the end of the day we drift apart. I'm lucky, cause I had such a beautiful person in my life.


My mum always says, your lucky if you end up having just a handful of friends you can truely trust... And it's true. It's hard to find people that appreciates you for you. Thank God I have a great bunch of people with me right now :).... I know they will always be in MY WORLD.

CARRIE FEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I HAVE THE SEX, WHO HAVE THE SEX... WE ALL HAVE THE SEX" quoted from Sex and the City....

OH MY LORDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
i can not. not. not. not. not. BELIEVE in less that 2 weeksss i will be sitting watching the SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE :D
I feel like a kid in a candy store. even better - i feel like i just stole candy from a kid ;)
The thought of watchin Carrie on the girls on the screen again just gives me butterflies.
Now I know all you women out there claim to be the "biggest" Sex And the City fan, but trust me - I AM.
Like common. I've made my URL exactly like lol - M And the City...
I have the Sex and the City dvds n think i've watched them about i dnoooo 10000 times.. i kno every episode off by heart.. and u no wat. I NEVER GET SICK OF IT. i always think. why? why dont i get over the story line?
Its amazing... I sometimes wish i could lead the life of Carrie Bradshaw.
Infact, I have friends similar to those 4 girls.
I have a friend who loves sex and is very opened about her sexuality.
A friend who is very conservative.
A friend who loves fashion and is quirky.
And a miranda? lol A pesomistic.
I think everyone has a bit of all four of those girls in us. Thats why we love them so much....
But, the thing that really gets my love for the show is their friendship.
Where men come and go, an accessory if u may. But their real soul mates. The people they know who r their for life.... Are their friends.

That's what really gives me Carrie FEVER!

Pondering....

What would you do for someone you love?

Would you lie, cheat, steal?

Break the law and call it justice?

Would you say yes? scream no?

Would you kill? Would you give up your own life?

Would you move mountains? Swallow fire? Keep a promise?

Would you change the world?

Would you change yourself?

What would you do for someone you love?

LEBALIAN!

Today on the radio, hamish and andy were discussing the mistreatment towards the middle eastern people. Personally, I get really upset with this topic because I am half lebanese/half italian.
A middle eastern security guard called up the radio today and told the hosts that he was told by his manager to not let anyone who looked of middle eastern appearance into the clubs.
Once I heard this my mouth dropped!
I'm half lebanese... I can easily pass as middle eastern appearance...
I have cousins that wouldn't hurt a fly. Cousins that are australians. Cousins that are intellegent, go to uni and live a normal, a sensible life! But, they aren't allowed in the club because..... THEY LOOK MIDDLE EASTERN.
What has the world become? Where we judge a book by its cover... Label races as inferior... A menace to society...
Is it their hair cuts? Clothing? Dark Skin? Voice?
Or is it the fact that they are all considered as "terrorists".

An article i read recently labelled Middle Eastern people as: “Lebos. Wogs. Ninjas. Towel heads. Wogs Terrorists. Osama bin Laden. Stupid Arab. Abos. Bimbo Lebs, Greasy Lebs. Camel-spit. Lebanese Shit. Lebanese are lesbians. Yous are scums, yous are all rats. Go back to your own country.”

What has the world become? It seems that religion is ruling our opinion on people. Stereotyping has become a way of life. Where people are not allowed to enter a club because they look Middle Eastern... translation Muslim.... translation... terrorists??

I am half Middle Eastern - Lebanese. I am for one not a trouble maker. Grew up in a good family, taught manners, right and wrong. So what does that make me????

I am LEBALIAN and proud :)

LEBALIAN = HALF ITALIAN/ HALF LEBANESE ;) hahaha

You Can Choose Your Friends.... BUT Do They Choose You?

Here is a picture of some of my close friends and I in byron... I treasure them with my life!

I'm sure everyone has heard of the saying.... You can choose your friends, but you cant choose your family....
What if you have decided you really really like some1 but they just dont like you back.
If you really really want to be their close friend but they dont want to even be ur acquaintance.

Last week or so, a similar situation occurred with me.. Unfortunately, it was not as simple.
If you love overhearing gossip then this will be your blog of the year.

Sometimes you can’t help but repeat what people tell you in confidence. They end up broadcasting your opinion to anyone that seems interested... wouldnt be surprised if it was to the homeless person on george st!

Does it really need to be repeated if you don't like their new hair colour? Or you prefer their natural beauty?

Well......
What if your words are TOTALLY twisted, leaving you as the "baddy" who BITCHES!

Personally, for all you people who dont know me well.... Yes I have my odd occassion of bitching (what girls don't) BUT ever since i've left highschool... I've left most of my "bitchiness" there.

So, recently I had been trying to reunite with two of my old close friends who i lost contact with after high school.

I emailed
Messaged
MSN-ed
Emailed again....
MSN-ed again.....
But NOTHING!
Until........................... I got a MSN message saying something along the lines:
"Listen, I don't want to be your friend, stop emailing me and stop bitching about me"
I was SHOCKED! I had said nothing of the sort about her or my other old friend.. If anything i had been saying how i missed them etc etc. It's funny though, I know who told them... Who twisted every little word to make me look like the bad person. But it's OK... They couldn't help it.... They obviously have a sick problem and need to fix on any victim! It's OK... cause i know the truth.....

It's upsetting thou. You want to trust ppl. To see only the good in ppl. No bad intentions. You finish school, mature, surrounding yourself with nice friends you can trust, but somewhere along the way, you will always meet people who will bring you down.

It makes you hate the human race. Do they do it out of jealousy? Bordem? Sickeness? Bitchiness?

I'm not going to confront the person. No point. They won't change. And now i know not to trust them....
Next time, if i choose a friend i know....... make sure they choose me back. :)

THANKYOU FOR SMOKING!

Smoking is a DIRTY habit... Personally, I HATE IT! It smells and makes you feel oh so dirty!
So........
WHY
CANT
I
STOP!

its.crazy.
I watch tv and see some1 smoke, i feel like one.
I stress over assignments, i feel like one.
I fight with my bf, oh boy, i feel like one.
I go out for a drink, i feel like one.
I'm doing nothing at all, and yes, i feel like one.
its.crazy.

So.......
WHY
CANT
I
STOP!

I've been smoking on and off since i was 12! Imagine what my lungs look like :s ewwww
NO! but seriously... Enough is Enough! Apparently it's all in the mind.So is my mind that weak that it cant control my cravings, my urges, my DISGUSTING HABIT!

"People that smoke are stupid... With all the facts today about the damages of smoking, people still do it! Stupid people!" In the words of my mother.
She smoked for 10 years, 14 - 24. But apparently it was different... "Back in those days we didnt have the knowledge you have now" hmmmm

So.......
WHY
CANT
I
STOP!

Choke Me... Spank Me... Pull My Hair!

"OMG! I so just want him to cuff me to the bed!"
These are the exact words that were falling out of my close friends mouth just two days ago....
After thinking really hard about how to construct my sex podcast i spoke 2 my gf who yes, is extremelyyyy promiscious n LOVES SEX! (maybe even more than men) :S actually.... wait! did u kno that apparently women are more (dare i say it) horny than men.... weird!
what my gf said really got me thinking.. how many ppl hav sex fetishes? and what are they? hw extreme can they get?
It's weird to think ppl get turned on by abuse... back in the days when i was immature enough to think jerry springer was halarious i remember watching an episode about weird sex acts.. there was this one couple who used to vomit on eachother! LIKE HOW GROSE IS THAT! "ummm excuse me can u pass me the tissues while i clean ur vommit of my chest!"
Humans r weird. but wat is weird? is weird normal? what is normal?
It's so hard to judge human behaviour.. it's so hypocritical.. hw can some1 who likes cuff's judge a person who likes vomit?

Maybe we all have a bit of a sexual fetish inside us.... Sooo i guesss humans should stop judging...... n start.... Choking, Spanking, Pulling Hair ;) hahaha

Whatever rocks your boat!